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If you find yourself pleading into a void, it's time to move on. So after three years he starts acting like a real boyfriend and treating you well.

Proven and tested by me, my boyfriend will always force me to change my childish acts con away and you know what it took 2 years before I realize that I should really change. If it works it will, but not holding my breath on Mr. Tinder can be as effective in finding a new relationship as more traditional dating sites like. Otherwise, Tinder matches medico around until you decide to finally strike up a conversation, unlike other apps such as. Tenslotte wil je toch zeker zelf bepalen wie een leuke partner is voor jou. Post images that are clear with a good, distinct background. Should You Marry a Firefighter. emt dating site

I have always been supportive and will continue. I wanted to drop off a small gift even though i know that it's not his style. The Super Like helps you show a potential match that you are definitely interested in her, and it will guarantee that you are made visible to her, but it still won't ensure that she will swipe right on you sorry, but no Tinder feature can force a right swipe or guarantee a match!

date an emt - I do not want to play games and date.

Their boys, the men they hang with have a huge impact on their lives and you will at first be dating him and his boys. We do want each other to find happiness and find a woman. But that woman has to fit the group, nothing worse than a nightmare girlfriend to create havoc in the team, and if you piss off his friends he will be put in a position at some point of picking you or them, and if you do that it will end poorly. I am my own person and with rules laid out for having to make the man in my life's ego safe, I would surely balk. I can recall one time in particular: it was quiet day for the most part, and rainy off and on, so traffic on the lot was minimal. This meant that most everyone was inside hugging the phone lines, glancing out the window as they worked. Early in the afternoon, this cherry red sports car pulled up on the lot. It was an attention getter to be sure. It took all of 20 seconds for EVERY salesman in the place to be scooted as close as they could be to the front door. We didn't see our manager for another 4 hours. No car was sold, and all of the men were useless as sales reps for the rest of the day. I remember the drill, and the lack of thrill at the kind of mentality that drooled so easily. Anonymous Well firefighters are pretty dumb according to this post. Many, many powerful men are stressed at work on a daily basis and can have meaningful, intellectual conversations. Dated a firefighter for 4 years and boy what a waste of time! I could have cared less about his job as I have dated military men and they have much more interesting stories! I mean EMT's, Police Officers save lives too and work crazy hours. You don't see them acting like dickheads! Anonymous I have been dating a firefighter for 2 years. All of the tips seem to hold true in my situation. Did i seek a firefighter? I was divorced with a son and he just popped into my life. Through these last 2 years i discovered the world of firefighters during and after work. It can be challenging for them as well as the people who are close to them. I am a strong minded hard working women who enjoys the relaxed easiness when i am with my firefighter friend. Like him my job is tiring and i just want to chill when i am not working. To add, the fact that the boys are always first, makes me laugh! I respect it but, it definitely can produce many silly jokes with the girls! Anonymous The times he was around my son and i was nice. He is simple and easy to understand. Everything he does is more important than what he says. I often think women who want or are dating someone in the fire department need to understand that his actions are so telling and he will take his time. Fire fighters are trained to be calm under stressful events. This carries into the personal lives which is challenging for women who always want to plan, request,and fix things. I am patient when it comes to my fire fighter being around my son. We all need to be cautious, caring, and patient! Yet, i am a tuff little cookie who will speak up when it is time. For example, the boys need to appreciate the women who are in there lives and the patients they have by looking through the woman's eyes sometimes. For me this is done by telling him exactly what i need in a calm and sweet way face to face! Then, i end it with a soft touch and kiss! I hope this helps someone. Yeah I do agree with you that if you want change someone let them do it and not just pushing them at an early rate. Proven and tested by me, my boyfriend will always force me to change my childish acts right away and you know what it took 2 years before I realize that I should really change. So, back to the topic, well each of us will encounter the feeling of being pressured and stressed specially if we have works and big obligations to do. It's really up to the woman to understand the situation of a fireman. Understanding both side will lead to a harmonious relationship. Anonymous Let me add some more detail here: While dating, seeing him only a couple times a week I suppose is fine. But I can't help but look 5 years from now and see a life where my husband hardly ever home. I love that hes great at his job and I love that I always feel safe around him. But he doesnt seem to make me FEEL like his priority. Work always comes first. When scheduling at one of the stations he works for, he even signed up to work on my birthday, completely forgetting about it. Right now I am just wondering if things will ever change I know what you are probably thinking, the post says you can't change someone, especially a fireman. I like everything about him, but his schedule is awful and I just don't feel like a priority. Is he working to get out of debt? Is he working to get a nest egg? Or like I used to be, addicted to the excitement? I was learning new skills and seeing more shit and every bit of it lead to me becoming a very good paramedic and very well respected peer. But I also used it to avoid life, to have an excuse for not participating in the boring mundane existence of ordinary people. I know that sounds rude and it is. It takes some years to be able to blend these two very different worlds together and find balance. I was a man whore for many years, just picking up one nighters with an occasional short relationship. Then those became meaningless and I felt like I needed to settle down. That would work for awhile and then the reality of it after a few years would show up, so back to being a man whore again. The best advise I can give you is to step back and see what is driving you stay in this relationship? Is being with him exciting and does it give you social standing with your girlfriends? Because if you aren't cut out for spending a lot of time by yourself then this will never work. Like I said before both of wives became lonely and then found other men. Good luck are there any other wives or girlfriends that you have encountered that you can talk to? Find the long suffering wife of another fireman and ask her, I'm sure she will have many tips as well. Anonymous I just found your post, I've recently started dating a guy who's been a firefighter for awhile now. Maybe our relationship won't last long, or it might last years but just in the short time I've known him I've realized that what he does is in his DNA, there isn't any changing that. As for the stuff he see's, I don't ask but sometimes at night he'll glaze over the topic and I just listen, and I know there aren't magic words to say to make him better. I've tried telling him that he did everything he could, but he always thinks there was something else. That's the hardest part of being with a fireman, trying to ease guilt in those few moments that they show it. Anonymous So THAT'S why these men are so much friendlier towards an old lady me--52 in the gym. What they DON'T know is that although I am soon to be divorced with a 14 year old son who is chock full of testosterone! I also wish for long periods of time alone because I like to write. But I have a question: A couple of the younger firefighters enjoy flirting with me. I COULD BE THEIR MOTHER! And though I worked in bars YEARS AGO, I am no cougar. Anonymous Here I go... I have to be straight. I have had an off and on relationship with a firefighter for 3 years. We were mature and talked about why we were okay with this situation. But,about 8 months ago something changed he started being a little nicer and respectful sending sweet text not sexy text. I tried to keep him at a distance because he had an additive personality. Why did i stay? Because i work hard and have a child from a divorce i just needed a man's touch sometimes. Back to the sweet months. He took me out during the days he wasn't working. He even bought me some gifts and helped me with my car. Then, one night he asked me to go to the station when he was working. I usually refuse but, that night, i went. He had been working overtime shifts and i heard exhaustion in his voice. He held me tight, said he was tired, his knee was killing him. I told him he needed to take a day off work. Then, the alarm went off and he pecked my lips gently. After that evening i tried to contact him for days. I was sad and figured he would contact me in his own time. Later i heard on the news that following morning he had a heart attack during a fire. I was refused to visit him. Only his roommate and a couple of the guys knew of me. I swore if he come out of this i would meet him one time and then i was done. Instead, we ran into each other and our passion for each other continues to get stronger. We are both scared! I am so afraid he will go back to his habits which i don't mind so much. But, i would mind if he slept with another chica female. The heart attack scared him. He has changed his behavior for the better for himself and by himself. I have always been supportive and will continue. I am strong and have a a civil servant job so i get that the boys and the job are first. I even get the hours holidays he will be working. But, how do i handle the womanizing issue? I dont care about the gambling because its his money and doesn't effect me. I don't care about the drinking. I like to drink myself and like a man that can handle more than I i have one they have 2. But, the women i can't deal! Do you have advice on this topic? Your voice is similar to his. What is your prospective? I have been through the phase of drinking and seeing booty calls, they went hand in hand. So after three years he starts acting like a real boyfriend and treating you well. I have to ask were you showing interest in any other man at that time? The fear of losing a woman can cause this reaction. He may have just come to a place in life where he realized that maybe you are the woman for him, we do get to a point of wanting to settle down. I don't understand your thought of ending it after the heart attack. Was it because you weren't accepted as being his woman? There is a period of recovery following a heart attack but not knowing his age makes my opinion more difficult. You say he has improved his life style is healthier and all by himself. Following a life threatening event can change you for the better, but as time passes the memory of that fades and people return to their old habits. I have to be concerned about the drinking, as an alcoholic I know the dangers of that disease. I am not calling him an alcoholic but hard drinking can lead to it and because you enjoy the same past time and admire heavy drinking I have to say your concern about other women is healthy. You didn't say he cheated in the past, but then being a booty call maybe you didn't care back then. So what has changed for you? You were ready to drop him, you wanted to keep him at arms length you were on the down low, so what is different? I will say that if he resumes his old ways and takes up hard drinking again, then he is likely to cheat, booze does that to people. If your position as a booty call doesn't change, if he isn't willing to be seen with you in public or at a fire dept. I also have to think of your child is he in your child's life? If he is, as a mother you have to think of the effect of his coming and going on your kid. I hope this helps, I have seen a near death experience have a profound effect on a man and change him forever. Anonymous I want to thank you for your honest perspective. He was on disability but is going to return in less than a month. I do believe it changed how he saw himself and has the desire to settle down. The reason we went back and forth had a lot to do with me. I was wishy washy because my X left me for another younger woman after 18 years living together, 4 years of marriage, and a son. I did not want to get into another serious relationship. So,others perceived me in some negative ways including some of his buddies. I accepted the decisions i made at that time. But, i have changed how i see relationships compared to when i first met my firefighter friend. I have slowed down and i am very content. He has expressed how much he is glad i have chilled out and enjoys relaxing with me. I know he is ready to go back to work. Yet, i am afraid that he will return to his old patterns that are not good for his mental or physical health. As for my son this is another reason i did not commit to any serious relationships. No one i have dated has met my son. I did not want my firefighter friend to be in his life if he was not willing to be serious with me. But, life happens he has seen him not planned which was easy going and smooth. I guess it is time to talk even though serious talks are not exactly what he likes to do. Yes, I am nervous and not sure how to share time and space with each other. Thank you for listening and responding. It is exactly what i need to guide my decisions for the best! Dear Anonymous; I am glad to have helped. Drop by any time with more questions. I too have 3 kids and have only let one woman I dated met them and that was awkward and I have never done that again, in fact my oldest daughter asked me to have her leave, needless to say that ended the relationship. We aren't great at talking, but if he will listen that is a start. Good luck I too had my heart broken by the mother of my children and it is a long journey back to trusting again. I'm glad I saw this!! I'm a 27 year old female and I'm dating a 25 year old firefighter long distance. He lives in Maryland and I live in Arkansas. I, for some reason, am attracted to them and I don't know why but I do have MAD RESPECT FOR THEM! My boyfriend is a very honest personand he's also loving and sweet and funny and loves to joke around. We're opposites in many ways and we love each other. What I've learned to appreciate is that he was honest enough to let me know once he became a firefighter, that he wouldn't get to call as much and I prayed for understanding and I got it. Yeah I get lonely but I still realize that I won't come first but i'm not last either. When we first me online, he was just in the fire academy but when he told me, something in me convinced me to stay. I actually prayed to God to find a firefighter. He granted my wish and him and I went through a lot of ups and downs but we're still together. He hasn't had a chance to call in almost a week and it hurts but you can't be selfish and you can't expect to get calls all the time. He's a good man to me and he's shown me many times and many ways that he loves me and I've learned to trust him. I hope it goes well for you. I have to ask, have you ever met in person or is this only an online relationship? The time in the academy is very demanding and we all need support during that time. How regular was your contact then as compared to now? I know I had more down time after the academy than I had during the academy so I wonder how things have changed. Something to think about. Anonymous I am the woman who had the winded messages above. For some strange reason i find comfort in writing about my situation online with strangers. Today, I have many unanswered questions about my relationship with my firefighter friend. He has returned to work after having a HA as of Monday. The media is all over the story. This seems to bother him, so i am keeping my distance. I want to comfort him with affection, but he needs space. I believe men who have been bachelors for 40 years do not like to be smothered. How do i handle this situation? I wanted to drop off a small gift even though i know that it's not his style. He never told me when i could stop by so i never mentioned it again. It hurt to see him all over tv, but glad he was going back to what he loves. Am I making a good decision? My friends tell me i need to decide if he his what i want after 3 years of off and on dating. What they do not know is why i put up with his stubborn ways? One thing i know for sure he cares and respects me very much! For the first time he looked me in the eye and told me he appreciates me and knows i will always be there for him. I have seen him at his low points and high for 3 years. I see him maybe once a week but i want more time. My feelings and how i treat our relationship has changed and grown. He treats me different yet it's small steps which keep me wondering. How do i get more time with him? What can i do to insure i am the women who is willing to be there no matter what? I know he has tried a couple times to have serious relationships and they ended with them meeting other men. I am older and have a son. I do not want to play games and date. My patients is running thin today especially since it is not a good time to say this stuff when he just returned back to the job after a serious HA. Am falling in love with a firefighter which i never intended. Dear Anonymous, my goodness this is the very first time you have used the word love in all these exchanges and you only mention it as a thought of yours. At this point I have to call bull shit on him. He respects you and cares for you yet keeps your relationship casual. If a woman was important to me I'd show her off I'd be proud of what she has done for me after three years. That isn't a relationship that is selfish and childish and he is using you. I have tried to be kind and understanding in our conversations but you need to hear the truth at this point and I'm sure it hurts, but have some respect for yourself. Is this what you believe you deserve? To be together once a week? I think he feels two ways, one is it's safe keeping you around and two he doesn't really want to hurt your feelings so he is hoping you will figure this out on your own and let it go, then he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I'd give him a good long break without saying that is what you are doing. No phone calls, no letting him drop by and no warning this is what you are doing, just go silent and see what happens. It will be hard but you will find out where he stands, if he doesn't notice or lets it go on without complaint, you will have your answer. Respect yourself and your child and God will show you the truth. Good luck I'll say a prayer for you. Let me know how it goes. We have been friends for over 30 years. We married other people, divorced them as well... We have had many attempts with almost dates-they didn't happen because of the profession-way of life. I have to respect that and I do. Sometimes I do wonder about his speedy tongue in cheek attempts with reconnecting- as if it in itself were a test to see if I pass. Now it seems he is quiet this time. I can tell you a story of a woman I met right before my first marriage, wow! She was the one, but I was already committed to another. When that ended I quickly found the the other woman and we were together with in days. I loved her, do love her but was too unstable and drinking too much, she couldn't trust that and ended up marrying another guy. Now I am divorced again and can't find her I have no idea where she is and I regret that very much. You have known him for more than 30 years, so unless you met in 1st grade I'm guessing you are over thirty yourself. Isn't it time to rise above the bull shit in life? Haven't you been through enough? You are going to get a guy a bit damaged, but who isn't? He put himself out there maybe to quickly, but we are trained to act quickly, to make very quick decisions it is in our DNA. It doesn't mean we don't think things through, we do, it just means we make those decisions much faster than most. So do you want to play games, is this a test on your part now? At this point do you really have that much to lose? I know I'm past the point in my life of wanting to live with regret, should-a-could-a-would-a that ain't for me anymore. At least take him out for a test drive for once without worry or anticipation or expectations. You may be surprised or you can move away and wonder. The next guy that rolls into your life won't have any of the knowledge of the past 30 years the way this guy does. Do really want to break in a new man? I assume you have a good idea of who he is and what he is, a better idea than any other man in your life. Keep me posted I'd love to know what happens. Anonymous Thanks Tim, On all counts you are spot on! I will keep you posted for sure. As of last night's phone conversation to me, he restated his profuse love for me in which there was no hesitation to reciprocate how mutual that was on my part. I did remind him I don't put myself out there often, and I don't take those words lightly-neither does he. We plan on seeing each other this week which will be a good thing-he is off on medical leave at the moment and so we will have time to catch up a bit. Breaking in a new person? What's to be gained by that? This guy has the road map to who I am and it's pretty much vice-versa. If it comes to anything I will learn further I am sure. The most important actions on my part are to go into this what ever it is with no expectations, no worries. I can't help the anticipation part-I'm excited! It's like getting strapped in on a thrill seeker's best amusement park ride for the first time, or paragliding off a 750 foot ridge in Mexico just before the wind really picks up. You have to have your wits about you, but also,just enjoy the experience. Who better with than a best friend? More later, Me I'm really sorry to hear that. All I can contribute at this point is my experience with PT after having a shoulder repaired and a knee a few years later. I had daily PT or at least 3-4 times a week. I was given pain meds for pain and used those. I drove myself to those events and was on light duty for awhile. I still managed my children while my ex a firefighter herself was on duty and pretty much was functional within the first week following surgery. So two thoughts here, is it possible he is abusing his meds? As an alcoholic I know I had to be careful with them as many become addicted very quickly, is he depressed about his situation? My thought is when we lose our work schedule in the station and go on light duty it can be depressing and if you add booze and pain killers he may be drunk dialing you when depressed and feeling sorry for himself, then sobers up and is embarrassed about what he did. I'm just throwing darts here I have no idea of what you are going through. It can be very hard for some FF to accept help when down and maybe that is it, or he doesn't want you to see him when he is weak and vulnerable, there are many possibilities here, he could just be a dumb shit. Check in anytime, don't know if I helped, but remember to value yourself even if he doesn't. Anonymous Tim, He does like his pint like most men, though I don't think he is abusing-he doesn't come off drunk anyway. Where I think his issue is... It's that Paleolithic thing of the hunter lol! Being a Capt I am sure a few look up to him, and he allows the guys into his whatever is going on as well. To females I doubt that is the case. Especially with me considering he thinks of me with interest. What he doesn't get is that I accept him the way he is on any given occasion. I believe he will be learning about that in the near future either with me or someone else. Well I'm glad to know addiction isn't a component, I go there because of alcoholism. Ah yes the man's man syndrome, does his crew know you? Many times the boys in blue have their input as well, if you know one and are comfortable with it, you could do an end around through one of his boys, if you wanted to. Well you are right, it could be his loss, hope he knows that. Thinking of you and sending a prayer your way. Like I said we have been on and off. Not sure what an end around through one might be, but it kind of sounds a bit contrived and pushing where I shouldn't. One can not fit a square peg in a round hole anyway. If it works it will, but not holding my breath on Mr. He needs to come to me or not at all. You would think he would be a tad bit more attentive. I see how ya are... I knew it all along.... So many red flags!! If he's only spent the night at your place and you've never met the family or a close friend in the six years you've known each other then sista he's just yo boy toy!! Besides, isen't that what you truly want? I admire them in uniform They are heros. If life takes you there. Amen Anonymous I've got one for you. But it is almost the same for female firefighters. We don't like to come home to stress, we like to keep it simple. And you will have to go through the group. We do like to dress up from time to time but not really that often. We don't come home from work looking beautiful and prettied up.